I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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