We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
