You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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