What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
