Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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