this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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