I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
