my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
