But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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