My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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