A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
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I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
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My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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