At least make sure they are 18
Why
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
