I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize