But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
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