Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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