No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
