It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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