i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
