If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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