I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
