They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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