come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
