so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize