Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
