She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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