I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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