that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize