I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
