So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
