i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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