that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
