Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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