the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
