I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
