She is in my trunk
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
