apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
well most of my day revolves around power hour
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
