He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize