So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
