More tranny stories later!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
