Don't make out with my wife yet
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
