i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Farmville is her only friend.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
