I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
jump out the window naked night went bad
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
