the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We had sex on a dog bed..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
