I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
