We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
