As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
