yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
