i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
