I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
how does that bad decision feel?
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