Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
