i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
