Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize