i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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