Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
