remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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