I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
