my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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