DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy