i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I will be naked everywhere
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.