doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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