Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
