I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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