i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So much Jack, so little girl.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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