yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
