he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
