it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize