you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
